Shafted
by JackiLeigh
Summary: Tony's reaction to Gibbs's return from Mexico.  Tony's POV.
1. NCIS

SHAFTED

AN: (UPDATE: This is part one of a series.) I really disliked the way Gibbs treated Tony when he returned from Mexico. That is the reason behind this fic. I have never written a story from a first-person POV before. It was really interesting writing from this POV, especially a female taking on a male's voice. Enjoy!

I knew he could come back. It was always a possibility. I…but 4 months! I had, in all honesty, expected him to be back after one month. But one month became two and two months became three, then four. I thought this is my team, my team. We were finally started to get into a groove of working well together. Tim and Ziva were finally beginning to accept me as their leader, to accept Gibbs was NOT coming back and to give me the respect I deserved.

All the hard work I had put in. All the pain, snide remarks, all the times they all said that 'this is not the way Gibbs would do it.' That was all behind us. We were finally becoming a team. Then it happened. He came back.

He came back, and it was like everybody let out a collective sigh of relief. It was like all that I had worked for, all I had achieved was just thrown away. I was back to second banana, back to being treated like I didn't matter. I mean I wasn't even important enough in the chain of command to be told Gibbs was returning. I got to find out that morning. I walked into the bullpen and there he was, sitting there at his old desk. He had cleaned my stuff out and just dumped it, unceremoniously onto my old desk. And, of course, Tim was more than happy to move back to his old desk, Gibbs was back.

Gibbs was the worst though. He acted as though he had never left. He couldn't understand my upset. He couldn't understand how I felt, or he chose not to, I don't know which. I just faded into the back ground, like I was supposed to, to reassume my role of good little solider. I was to follow orders given and to do so with enthusiasm. First of all, I was and am not a Marine, and secondly, I was severely lacking in the enthusiasm.

The pseudo-respect, I have come to realize that that was what it was. I was getting from Tim and Ziva was gone. I was back to being the stupid, computer-illiterate, SFA clown, in Tim's eyes. I was back to being the goofy, slacker, immature frat-boy SFA in Ziva's eyes. I hadn't realized the pseudo-respect for what it was. It took a little time. I thought Tim and Ziva were working, doing their jobs because of something I was doing, because, I was such a good leader. But it was a rouse. They did their job, true. It had the side effect of making me look good. But they really did their jobs well because they wanted Gibbs to be proud when he came back. So that Gibbs could see that they could 'put up with me' as leader until he returned.

I felt betrayed, by all of them. Between Abby having pictures of Gibbs up everywhere, she even had a Gibbs screen saver, Ducky reminding me that I didn't do things the way Gibbs did, and Tim and Ziva 'pretending' to respect me. I did one hell of a pseudo-good job as Team Leader.

Then, of course, there was Jenny. I felt special to be offered the job in Rota, Spain. I was very surprised. I turned it down though, for reasons I thought, at the time, were good ones. I knew Gibbs was not up to par. I knew his memory was not 100%. I thought he needed me to help him with that. In retrospect, ANY of the rest of them could have helped him. They wanted him back so much they would have done anything to get him back, if only for fear of having me as Team Leader again. I wonder, sometimes, if my mistake had been staying and not taking the job. I never told anyone about the job and I asked Jenny to respect my wishes, and as far as I know she never told anyone. I think she was the only one who recognized my potential and my skills and abilities. That only makes it sadder and more pathetic though, because she is the one who actually has known me the shortest amount of time.

It used to make me wonder what I was doing wrong, and then I realized, it was them. I haven't changed. I've been the same person all the way through this. I have always goofed off and joked around. It was just that they were not interested in finding out about the person beneath all that. Or, when I did show a little of myself I got teased. I got almost…attacked. I then let the mask slide back into place. What was I supposed to do, let them continue to kick me when I was down? I learned, from those rare occurrences, to not let people see the real me. I learned all people wanted to do when you leave yourself open like that is hurt you.

I went to see Gibbs after he had been back for about a month. He and I had not talked about how he had returned to NCIS and I wanted to talk to him about it. The conversation did not go well.

I made my way to the basement. Things had not changed since he left. I had expected them to be a little different. He was different. But nothing had changed. The house, the basement, looked exactly the same.

I sat down on the bottom steps for several moments, choosing my words carefully. "Why didn't you tell me?" I paused. "You could have called." I started.

Gibbs stopped sanding the rib he was working on. "Tell you what?"

I stared at him for a moment. "Tell me you were coming back."

"My team, DiNozzo." I could tell he was getting angry, but he kept his voice even. "I was coming back to MY team."

"Yes." I agreed. "It was your team, you put me in charge." I said, keeping my voice low and controlled.

"I decided I wanted to come back." Gibbs said simply, as if that explained it all.

"Yes." I nodded. "I understand that. I…I would have appreciated a phone call."

Gibbs put his hand tool down and turned his full attention on me. "YOU would have appreciated a phone call?" Gibbs than began to pace. "My team and YOU would have appreciated a phone call!" Gibbs shook his head. "Unreal!"

"I…" I started.

Gibbs then walked up to the stairs. "MY team!" He began to rant. "I give you, handed you my team and I need to ask permission to take it back!"

"That is not…That's not what I meant." I explained. I was a little surprised and disturbed by the amount of anger and hostility.

"That… is my team!" Gibbs fumed. "I created it from nothing. I handpicked the members." Gibbs said, pointing at himself. "I made a damn good team." Gibbs said, emphasizing the word 'I' each time.

"I…We worked hard. It was hard, keeping the team together." I explained. "They all missed you. They had a hard time accepting me."

Gibbs shook his head. "You were their leader. They accept you as leader because you are leader. There is no taking time to accept you, you're leader. It's automatic."

"For you, maybe…" I said. "For me…."

"That's bullshit, DiNozzo." Gibbs asserted. "Maybe I should have…."

Gibbs didn't have to finish the sentence. I completed the thought for him in my mind. It surprised me a little how deeply it hurt. How much those words wounded me. How much Gibbs opinion of me really meant. Thinking now, I was not able to do the job. That he would have passed me over and put McGee in charge. That he would have done anything besides what he did. It…it was devastating for me to think he thought he had made a mistake. It didn't surprise me though when the tears came to my eyes. I stood up on the bottom stair and stared at him for a moment.

"Yeah, maybe you should have." I said before I turned and started up the stairs. I continued up, shaking his hand off my arm and turning a deaf ear to his words. I left the house, got in my car, and drove off.

THE END


	2. Virginia Beach

Virginia Beach, VA

AN: I posted an update the first story's AN, but it never showed up. The first story is part of a series, for those of you who wanted more, there is. Gibbs tells his side of the story later. I hadn't intended to post again so fast, but I had to, to explain. ENJOY!

TO CJ: I would have told you if I could have PM'ed you. "There is more."

My phone started ringing almost as soon as I pulled out of Gibbs' driveway into the roadway. I turned the ringer off and threw it onto the seat beside me.

It was Friday and I was glad. I had planned to talk to Gibbs on a Friday, a Friday of a weekend we were not on call. That was in case our conversation went bad, which it obviously had. I wiped my eyes and just drove.

I ended up in Virginia Beach. I checked into one of the small, somewhat seedy ocean-side hotels, grateful I, at least, had my gun. I soon realized, upon check-in, that that was the only thing I had brought with me.

I left the hotel/motel and spend a couple hours at the small strip mall across the street buying clothing and toiletries. I then came back, stashed it all in my room, and took off for the beach. It was warm for a February day, but the beach was deserted, except for a couple of dedicated beach combers. I pulled the jacket I had on around me to block the wind and walked the shore. I came to a small outcropping of rock and climbed upon it. I drew my legs up to my chest and stared out at sea for what seemed like hours.

The tears came back, probably the effect of the salt water in the air. At least that's what I told myself. I wiped my eyes and wrapped my arms around my legs. There was always something calming about the sea. I don't know if it is the color blue, a known calming color or if it is the fact you can see forever. It never ends.

It's nice to know that some things never end, because in life others always do. Circumstances change, people move on, people die, people change. Of all those things, people changing is probably the hardest to deal with. Things change because, well, they just do. People move on for a variety of reasons: new job, marriage, kids, etc. And people dying is just as much a part of life as women giving birth. But people are not supposed to change, not as much as he did, not as to become unrecognizable.

I understand he had amnesia. I get that but Gibbs is Gibbs is Gibbs. That is how it is. Or, at least, how it was. I...the one I always trusted to believe in me, to trust me to be able to do the job and to do it well. To hear he no longer thought that way was...well devastating. I realize his reactions, his words may have been out of anger. I have taken that into account. I know that the time in Mexico he probably needed. He was facing some skeletons and some demons he probably thought he had locked away forever. I can understand and sympathize with that. I have no problem there. I guess...I just wanted to be recognized. A 'nice job' would have sufficed. I didn't need much.

I sighed and stared out at the ocean again. It was beginning to get dark so I climbed down off the rocks and walked the short distance back to the motel. My mind still reeling, thinking about my conversation with Gibbs. A typical 'Gibbs reaction' would be to ask me why I expected to be thanked for doing my job? Why I expected anything more than was due me?

It was true, I was doing my job as Team Leader. But that job had been thrust upon me in the most unusual manner and I was left to deal with the fallout of Gibbs rapid and dramatic departure. I was left to deal with people who were just as devastated by his departure as I was. I was left to pick up those pieces, deal with emotional reactions and attitudes. And, in my mind, the expectation was, to keep up the solve rate to pre-Gibbs departure levels. A hell of a lot to do and sure as hell more than, just my job.

Gibbs kept emotions and personal stuff out of the job and was right to do so. I tried to do the same. But the problem was Gibbs' leaving was personal. He was everybody's rock at work. But when that rock got 'broken' it caused a ripple effect. When you are insecure in one part of your life, it cannot help but effect other parts, even if the effects are subtle ones. We all got emotional. It was hard not to, even for me.

I unlocked the door to my room, undressed and headed for the shower. I then laid down on the bed and flipped on the TV. I needed the back ground noise. I began to drift back. I felt attacked when Abby told me I was not Gibbs. When Ducky kept reminding me that Gibbs didn't do things that way. But most especially when McGee and Ziva were slow to follow my order, kept questioning my orders and when then voiced their opinions on our 'campfire' sessions.

I may, thought, have to take responsibility for some of that. I did start out acting like Mini-Gibbs, but I soon realized that had been the wrong approach. That was why I then started the campfire, and why I changed my approach with all of them. And that, too, of course, brought about complaints. Now that I look back on it, I don't see how we got any work done.

It was 3:17 a.m. when I looked at the clock on the bedside table. I was not sure if the noise was inside or outside the room, having just been woken from a sound sleep. I reached slowly and carefully under the pillow and brought out my gun.

The light from the outside neon sign shown through the slit. The opening I had left in the curtains. I quickly realized, after looking around the room, that the noise, what I realized were police sirens, was actually outside the room. Curiosity got the best of me, though at no-tell motels like this I'm sure that police visits are fairly frequent, I looked out the window. I was very surprised to see a familiar face. I pulled jeans and a jacket on over the boxers and t-shirt I had worn to bed and head out the door. I run my fingers through my hair to at least TRY to make myself look presentable.

I opened the door and looked out, wanting to make sure I actually recognized the cop whose face was only illuminated by a street light.

I heard someone say. "Sir! Please stay in your room! This area is a crime scene!"

"Detective Gregory Hamilton." I called out. I moved closer. "It's been a long time."

Greg looked puzzled, then he smiled when he saw me come closer and he recognized me. "Detective Anthony DiNozzo...excuse me...Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo." We shook hands.

I stood and surveyed the scene as Greg spoke.

"Good to see you, Tony." Greg then pointed to the young man beside him. "This is Detective Andy Crawley."

Crawley smiled and extended his hand. " Andy. And it's nice to finally meet the famous 'DiNozzo.'"

"'The DiNozzo?'" I asked smiling.

"According to Greg here, you're Superman with a badge." Andy stated.

I smiled and shook my head. "So, your victim here."

Greg sighed. "It's a common sight, unfortunately. A pimp puts an end to one of his whores, for God only knows what reason, then makes a hasty exit."

I nodded. The woman was lying half in, half out of room 23. She had a blue face and a rope or some sort of cord around her neck. "The John...?"

Andy shook his head. "The manager said two women rented the room. Most Johns aren't that...ambitious."

Greg nodded. "We're just waiting for the CSI and the coroner. Sent Andy to talk to the residents here. Nobody would open the door, not in this neighborhood, even to a cop." Greg sighed. "We'll be back in a few hours. Catch these people checking out, maybe get a little more information, not too hopeful though."

I nodded. I was suddenly very tired. I scrubbed my hand over my face and yawned. "Gotta get some sleep." I muttered.

Greg smiled. "Come to the diner across the street, about 9 a.m., we'll have breakfast. I'm buying."

I nodded, turned and headed back to my room. I then turned and looked at him. "Actually, could we make it around noon, and you buy lunch."

Greg nodded. "Agreed, 11 a.m. and lunch is on me." The coroner and the CSI entered the parking lot as he finished his sentence and he waved the crews over to the body.

I nodded then headed back to my room. Moments later I had pulled off my jeans and jacket, and threw them on a chair. I crawled back into bed and was asleep in moments.

MORE TO COME

Also, for those of you reading the ANs I realized my error and that is why that are two ANs when there should only be one, on the first story in this series.


	3. Hammond's Diner

Hammond's Diner

When I opened my eyes, the sun was streaming in through the slit in the curtains. I got up, put on my jeans and jacket, and headed for the beach. I needed to run. It was about 9 a.m. so I had plenty of time to get my run in. I could hang out at the beach for a little while, too before I had to go back to the room. I would need to shower and change before I headed over to the diner.

I arrived back at the motel room chilled to the bone. I had ran for a couple miles along the shore doubling back several times. By the time I got back to my room my sweaty t-shirt, which was stuck to me was causing me to feel like I had no shirt on at all. I stepped into the room. I quickly stripped off the sweaty clothing, showered and arrived at the diner with minutes to spare.

Greg was already sitting at a booth and had a hot cup of coffee waiting on me. I nodded, thanking him for ordering it and took the seat opposite. I wrapped my hands around the mug and sipped.

"We weren't partners long. But I could tell you're going through some stuff, Tony." Greg opened.

"Didn't realize I was so transparent." I said looking into the depths of my coffee mug.

Greg leaned back in the booth and smiled. "You're not. I've just learned how to see into the cracks in the mask."

I just stared at him. I almost knew he was aware of the mask, now I was sure.

"Laughter can hide a lot of heartache."

"It's funny, you don't look like Dr. Phil." I remarked. And he truly didn't. Greg was blond-haired, blue-eyed and was an avid runner.

Greg smiled. "The same old 'avoidance' routine."

"I gotta go with my strengths, there, Greg."

"Talk to me, Tony. I've seen you upset. I've seen you hurting. But I've never seen you...broken."

I sighed and looked up at him. I really didn't want to go into details. "I think it's time for me to move on."

"But...?" Greg prompted.

"But...things are different." I started. I was trying to explain something I didn't fully understand myself. "Gibbs..."

"Your boss, Gibbs."

I couldn't help but be surprised.

Greg smiled. "Kept an eye on you. Not often a beat cop makes Fed. I was, and am really, really proud."

I smiled, unable to help myself.

"Andy was exaggerating, wasn't he? Superman with a badge?" I asked.

Greg smiled. The waitress approached and he and I gave the waitress our food orders. He answered only after the waitress walked away. "Some, but not much."

"You talk about me a lot to Andy?" I asked, as little surprised.

Gregory nodded. "The best cop I ever knew. I have a great deal of respect for you, Tony. I always admired how you didn't back down from people. I admired how you didn't let things slide, like so many other cops did."

"I made myself a moving target, Greg."

"You flushed out a lot of bad cops. You helped clean up the department."

I sighed, but didn't speak until the waitress served us our food and walked away. "I pissed off a lot of powerful people."

Greg didn't speak for a moment, he appeared to be studying me. "Do you regret what you did?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, I just wish sometimes...I could have bypassed all the ...complications it caused."

Greg nodded. He had seen first-hand the ridicule I had received from cops whose partners and friends I had gotten fired. "Can't please everybody."

"You didn't receive death threats." I said simply. I had never told him about that, unsure if he would not rethink his position as my partner.

"Death threats!" Greg's eyes got wide.

I smiled, though the situation had not been funny then and it was not funny now. "Nothing overt, just things like 'I better never catch you without your partner.' 'Sleep with one eye open.' Things like that."

"Tony!"

"I didn't want to tell you, Greg. I didn't want you to rethink your position as my partner." I paused. "I had to take them seriously, though."

"So you left…?" Greg asked.

I nodded. "I didn't want to put you in danger. Plus, I was beginning to feel like the black sheep, the red-headed stepchild."

We ate in silence for several minutes. I was thinking back to those not-so-good old days. I looked up at Greg, I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"So," Greg asked. "…is that what is going on here you feel like the black sheep, the red-headed step child?"

"Not exactly…" I said, shaking my head. "…I almost expected that reaction from those guys. I knew I had done something to provoke it. I feel…now…I just feel betrayed." I paused trying to put the words together. "I feel like, I know, I did my job. I did it to the best of my ability. But it wasn't appreciated, it wasn't…recognized."

"Being a cop is a thankless…." Greg started.

I shook my head, stopping him. "Not that type of recognition, not awards, not media coverage, just a nice, simple, 'Thank you, Tony.' 'Good job, Tony.'" I shook my head again. "But that is only part of it. I was made Team Leader." I decided just to tell Greg the whole story, the abbreviated version, of course. "Gibbs had retired after an accident where he got amnesia. I wasn't sure he was coming back and as time went on I thought he wasn't. Then after 4 months, I walk into work and there he is sitting at his old desk, just like he had never left. Just cleaned my stuff out and dumped it back on my old desk."

"Just like that…" Greg asked. "…no phone call, no heads up."

I shook my head and continued. "Meanwhile, everybody, including me was trying to deal with his sudden departure. He just decided to leave, gave no notice, nothing. So anyway, I am trying to run the team and I get nothing but complaints. I don't do things like Gibbs. I don't follow procedures the same way Gibbs did. I had a lab tech who had pictures of Gibbs up in her lab. I had two junior field agents who questioned my orders at every turn. And I had an ME who, unwittingly and unknowingly, I'm sure, was also questioning my every move."

"Tony!" Greg paused, trying to process. "Man, I'm sorry. I…I don't know what to say to that. How do you deal with something like that? How long has Gibbs been back?"

"It's been two weeks. And it just…it just seemed like, Greg, when he came back everybody just relaxed. It took them no time to revert to how it was before he left. It was like, like what I had done, it was ignored. It was just a glitch in the software, a blip on the map." I then sipped my coffee, waiting for Greg to answer.

"You talked to him…I hope." Greg stated.

"I tried, Friday night. I got here Friday night. That should tell you how well it went." I replied.

Greg shook his head. "You're too good to give up, Tony. You're too good to walk away."

"The director praised me. Said I did a good job. She offered me a Team Leader position…in Rota, Spain."

Greg just looked at me for a second. "But…you don't want to leave here. You don't want to leave the states and you don't want to leave your friends."

"You should set up a booth at carnivals and read fortunes." I stated. It was scary how perceptive he was sometimes.

Greg smiled. "You deserved a pat on the back. You deserve recognition. You stepped to do a job you had never done, with little or no guidance at a very difficult time."

I just smiled, glad he understood.

"Most people get a few weeks of…training to go into any job. And it's difficult, even when everything else at work is going well. It sounds like you were made captain of a ship no one was sure would stay afloat." Greg said.

"Naval reference, N-C-I-S, I appreciate it." I said, smiling.

Greg nodded. "I knew you would." He paused long enough to sip his coffee. "Go back, demand the respect and the recognition you deserve! You worked hard, Tony. I know you. I know you wouldn't give anything less than 100%."

We both had finished out meals. I stood up and Greg did too. The waitress had laid the check on the table earlier. Greg paid the bill, I left the tip and we walked out together.

We stood on the sidewalk for a brief moment before Greg pulled my into a quick hug. "It was so good to see you again, Tony. If you ever decide to leave NCIS, the VAPD sure could use you."

I smiled, hugging Greg back. "I'll consider it, if I ever leave NCIS." I pulled back. "Thank you...and by the way, you would make one butt-ugly cheerleader. But I appreciate the pep talk."

I headed back to the hotel and Greg got into his patrol car.

TBC 


	4. Back In DC

Back in D.C.

I packed up and headed back to D.C. late Sunday afternoon. I had spent Saturday night and Sunday morning watching various movie marathons and thinking about my next course of action.

I arrived back at my apartment in the early evening, giving me enough time to wash some clothes and relax a little before going back to work Monday morning. I had not touched my phone since I had turned it off and threw it onto the seat beside me when I left Friday afternoon. I picked it up and put it in my pocket and brought it into my apartment. I fell onto my couch and turned the phone on. I saw that my mailbox was full and that I had had many missed calls. All, I was sure, were from Gibbs and I had not intention of answering them.

I arrived at work Monday with minutes to spare. I had arrived later than usual on purpose. I didn't want a 'scene' with Gibbs the first thing in the morning. I didn't want to have to explain why I was 'unreachable' over the weekend. But mostly, I just wanted to put it off as long as possible. I was dreading the talk, whenever we had it, and I was sure, judging from Friday night, it would not turn out good.

I sat down at my desk and made myself look busy, avoiding Gibbs gaze.

"DiNozzo! Elevator! Now!" Gibbs said as he walked past my desk to the elevator.

I got up, obediently and followed him. I wasn't sure what to expect. I almost expected to be fired.

I followed Gibbs on. He allowed the doors to close and flipped the switch before he spoke.

"I have been trying to call you all weekend." Gibb started.

"I know." I said.

"You were avoiding taking your Team Leader's calls?" Gibbs asked.

"No, I was avoiding Leroy Jethro Gibbs's calls." I stated. "There's a difference."

Gibbs just waited, staring at me.

"I worked very hard to keep the team together." I said. "They all felt abandoned…by you. But you weren't here, so they took it out on me." I paused. "It wasn't fair to me, but that was how it was. I had to deal with it. And NO Gibbs, respect is not automatic, it must be earned. I had been their Senior Field Agent, but not their Team Leader. I had to earn their respect by doing the job correctly. I did that, but the respect didn't come. They were not interested in the job I was doing. They weren't interested in how well or how badly I was doing it. They were ONLY interested in when YOU were coming back. I did the job as best I could, because I would do no less. But I didn't get their respect, Gibbs." I paused. "I didn't get their respect because of you. It was like they all were holding their breaths waiting for you to return. Waiting for you to come back and make things RIGHT, make them like they used to be."

Gibbs remarkably didn't speak. He just waited for me to continue.

"You solidified for me how little my contribution meant when you came back, unannounced and just dumped my things back on my desk. It was like you were telling me what they all were. I can put up with this joker, this wanna-be until Gibbs gets back. Gibbs. Gibbs. Gibbs. That's all I heard." I paused again, my anger lessening. "And to answer your question…as Team Leader and former probie you should have understood the pressure I was under to prove myself and to do my job. But Leroy Jethro Gibbs, with the famous second "b", he got all hot under the collar wondering how DARE I have the balls to even suggest HE should call me and let me know he was coming back. How DARE I suggest he should ask for his team back. HE created it from the ground up. HE hand-picked the members. It is HIS team." I said throwing Friday night's conversation back in his face. "The Team Leader respects me, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not." I concluded. "And you made a very PUBLIC and very damning display of it when you dumped my things back on my old desk and then acted as though you had never left. That the last 4 months of my blood, sweat and tears had not existed, and therefore, didn't matter. They all got it, and they took your lead. You had never left. Things had never changed, so what the hell was my problem? Why couldn't I just get over it and move on?"

Gibbs just stood his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you finished, DiNozzo?"

I just looked at him, surprised by this reaction. I expected him to chew me out, to launch into a tirade. But he just looked at me, staring almost. It's a little unnerving and I flinched involuntarily. I finally nodded my head.

"I told no one I was coming back. I didn't know. I just…I got up that morning and I came here. I saw my old desk and sat down. I started looking for my things, and finding yours. I…I decided then, Tony, split-second decision, I swear." Gibbs paused and looked at me for a moment. My expression must have told everything I was feeling, because when he spoke again. "I know how good you are, Tony. I know you. I never, ever meant to do anything to undermine that. I never meant to do anything to make you doubt yourself. Given what I know about your past, I…I am very careful about that. I try to be. I was way, far, out of line Friday night. I know that. I wanted to tell you that for the past two days. I have filled up your voice mailbox and I am sure you have about 200 missed calls. My actions and my reactions towards you were inexcusable as you boss and as your friend."

It was my turn to stand and stare this time. This was so weird. He was too nice. I didn't like it.

"I hope you can forgive me. I just thought you seeing me, sitting at my old desk. It would mean…I WAS back. I was ready to go and that I was ready to lead the team again. NOT that I was throwing all you did away. I would not have had a team to come back to, if it hadn't been for you. I know that, believe me, I know that. I wanted it to be back to the old times, too, but in a good way."

I was smiling. I couldn't help myself. "You're breaking one of your own rules."

"It's okay to apologize when it's among friends." Gibbs replied.

"This doesn't automatically fix things." I explained.

"I know." Gibbs offered

"I still should have gotten a phone call."

"Agreed." Gibbs stated.

"Next time you leave, you take me with you." I said smiling. "I suggest Hawaii. Surf, sand, hot, tanned, Hawaiian babes…." I said, letting my mind wander for a second.

"Absolutely not." Gibbs grinned.

Gibbs and I both turned to face the elevator doors when he flipped the switch.

I glared at him and rubbed the back of my head as we stepped off the elevator. "You just had to remember EVERY damn thing didn't you."

THE END

End Notes:  
>I am sorry for the sweet, sappy ending, if that's not your thing. I like Tony's and Gibbs's relationship dynamic so much, for the most part, that I think these ending are very appropriate. I didn't address the lack of disrespect of the other team members for Tony the way I had planned. But I think allowing Tony to vent his feelings, first to Greg then to Gibbs made up for it, a little.<p> 


	5. Meanwhile, in DC

MEANWHILE, IN DC

**AN: Due to comments received, I'm writing a Gibbs POV piece. I hope you enjoy this first installment. **

"'You'll do.'" Why the hell did I say that? I ask myself as I look around my basement. At least nothing has changed here. This place, this house, is still the same. It has helped my memory more than I can say. I am glad to be back in DC. I remember a lot. I am still having flashes of memory too, but most things I do recall. And, unfortunately, I recall the last thing I said to Tony before I left for Mexico. "You'll do." I meant it to say so much, but it actually said so very little.

I have been back two weeks. I…I was grateful to Tony because, even though I hadn't asked him to, he had paid my bills that had come in during the 4 months I was gone. I have no words to express my thanks for his consideration and thoughtfulness. I plan to pay him back, though, every penny.

I would give anything to take back my actions that first day back. I saw the look of defeat, the hurt look in his eyes when he saw me back and the things back on his desk. My first response, however, had been anger. Wasn't he glad to see me, I thought. Wasn't he glad to have me back, I thought. The simple action of me putting his things back on his desk, of me not picking up the phone had hurt him. It had hurt him deeply and I would give anything, anything in the world for that not to have happened.

I had wanted to be there when they all came in. That had been the plan. I wanted to show them all I was ready to be back. I wanted to make sure they knew I was OK. I knew they had missed me. God, I had missed them so much. Then when Ziva had called me back, when she had needed my help, I had had the urge to come back. I had had the first thoughts of taking my job back. I had had the first thoughts of getting back to my old life. And, it had felt good.

I was realizing Mexico for what it was, my place to run. My place to escape my bad memories, my place to run to escape life, things as they were. The world condition. I had already lost so much in my life. When that ship exploded in front of my eyes, all those lives lost for, what seemed to me, to be a stupid reason. I needed the escape. The escape sounded good. I had come to realize though, that even on the beaches in Mexico, I could not escape. These people I had come to love as family, even though I could not remember a lot about them. They were in my fragments of memories. They were in my mind more and more as I began to remember names. I would wonder how things were going in D.C. I would flash back to the scene of the ship explosion in my mind. The things Franks told me about 9-11. It all formed a continuous news reel in my mind. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't turn it off. I had to let it play.

I was remembering Shannon and Kelly too. I was remembering that pain. That heartache at loosing the two people I loved the most in the world. I was grieving all over again. I was at the graveside, again, holding that dirt clod in my hand. I was crushing it over the open grave, allowing it to shower down in my daughter's tiny casket. I was, again, realizing that I would never hold her. That I would never again hear her call me 'Daddy.' That I would never get to met her future husband. I would never get to meet her children, my grandchildren. That I would never see that tiny girl, become a grown woman. It, the memories, were crashing in on me. I was drowning in the waves.

I…I knew I had made a wise decision. I knew Tony could do the job. He…I taught him well. I trusted him with my life, how could I not trust him with my team?

That damnable 'You'll do.' WHAT the hell was I thinking?

TBC


	6. MeanwhilePart 2

Chapter 2

I came back to a changed team, nothing overtly different, but there was underlying current of unrest. I thought, at first, it was me. I mean, amnesia; nobody was sure how to act around me at first. They knew there were gaps in my memory and they were careful, at first, not to assume I remembered anything. It was annoying, but I accepted it. I mean, the amnesia thing was new for me, too. We were all in uncharted territory. It was a little later I realized what the reason situation was.

I had heard comments. Things said by Abby and Ducky, maybe meant as compliments to Tony during my absence, though they seemed to be rather backhanded ones to me. I took it all in stride. I mean, I was sure of Tony and his abilities. I still am. Nothing has changed there. It…Abby keeping my picture up while I was gone, while it was sweet, as a reminder, now it seems also, to have been a reminder to Tony, a painful one. That he would never measure up to her 'Silver-Haired Fox.'

Everyone needs a period of adjustment. This was denied my team. I can only blame myself for that and for the, then, respective fallout. Tony had been thrust into a position he had not been prepared for. The rest had been forced to deal with a new leader and a radically different form of leadership. How could I have believed, in my wildest dreams, that all would have gone smoothly? I wanted it to. I respected Tony. I expected the others to do the same. I knew of his abilities. I thought the others had been blind not to see them. But the fault, in the end, was mine. I saw behind the mask. I knew what was there. I…the others, with the exception of Abby, did not or could not. Either way, it had made for a messy transition.

I, however, do not and will not take responsibility for Ziva's and Tim's lack of respect for Tony as their Team Leader. I, in the course of bringing myself up to speed, discovered several written reprimands. I had not been told about these, by anyone on Team Gibbs. I had been surprised and very disappointed. First, that the reprimands had to be made. And secondly that they were severe enough to have had to be made part of a permanent employee record.

I had heard that Tony had started drinking coffee and slapping heads. And I had to laugh, imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and all. But then I started to listen, for once I was grateful to the office gossip, the scuttlebutt. I was used to it. I knew my reputation and was OK with it. I was a hard-ass on the old rumor mill. I knew it and I lived up to it 100%. No apologies needed, wanted, or accepted. But Tony, it hurt my heart to hear about the level disrespect he had suffered.

But scuttlebutt is, after all, nothing but scuttlebutt. I needed proof. I…I needed someone I trusted. Someone who would tell me the truth not matter what it was. No matter how much it pissed me off to hear it. I turned to Ducky.

TBC


	7. MeanwhilePart 3

"I am afraid I did the boy a great disservice myself, Jethro." Ducky admitted to me when I went to speak to him. "I told him he did nothing in the same manner you did." Ducky paused. "It was not because I truly expected him to. He is, after all, not you. But, I know it…it upset him. He was trying so hard to make his own mark with the team, to make the team his. I..I should have recognized that for what it was and let him find his way, do things his way. He didn't need the reminder, didn't deserve the comparison. I believe he felt I was telling him he did not and could not measure up. I am dreadfully sorry for that and I want so much to tell him how much a regret my mistake, my choice of words. I…" Ducky paused and just shook his head.

After a moment, he continued. "At any rate, insult was added to injury, we…well, Abby had told him that he was not you, 'not Gibbs.' That was when they were all upstairs. It was a day or so after you left. Tony told them, and I paraphrase. If slapping heads and drinking coffee helps me to get the job done, than I'm going to do it, so deal with it. He then walked off. He…" Ducky paused again. "…Abby felt so bad. And I…I wanted so much to speak with him about what I had said. I didn't mean to hurt him and I didn't mean to judge him. I…I said those words before I realized what I was saying. He did an admirable job while you were gone." Ducky looked me in the eye. "And you knew he would, or you wouldn't have left him in charge."

I nodded.

"Whenever Tony was down here, Jethro. He, he seemed stressed. Well, I at first thought it was just the new responsibility, but then Mr. Palmer enlightened me on a few things."

"Palmer?" I asked.

Ducky nodded. He called over his shoulder to Jimmy, who was currently in the back room studying.

"Dr. Mallard?" Jimmy asked as he immerged from the backroom.

"Agent Gibbs needs to speak with you." Ducky stated.

I saw a look of fear flash in his eyes as he turned to spoke to me. "Yes, Agent Gibbs."

"Mr. Mallard tells me you know things about Tony, things that I need to know."

Jimmy nodded. "Yes, si… Agent Gibbs."

I nodded, and waited for him to continue.

"Tony…Agent DiNozzo, he was…he was having a hard time." Jimmy said. "Dr. Mallard and I heard the arguments at the crime scenes."

Ducky nodded confirmation.

"Arguments?" I asked. "What were they arguing about?"

"Tony's orders." Jimmy said. "He…they constantly questioned his orders." Jimmy paused.

I shook my head, my anger flaring. "When orders are given you follow them."

Jimmy continued. "Tony was here well past midnight many nights finishing reports, their reports. He, at first, he would return them Tim and Ziva and they would return them to him undone. He would make notes for corrections. The corrections would not be made, in fact, Tony said most of the time they never even looked at the notes he had made. They would just let the reports lie on their desks for a day or two and then just turn them back in as if they had done something to them." Jimmy paused. "Tony just gave up after a while and made the needed changes himself."

"How do you know all this?" I asked. I balled up my fist and fought the urge to strike out against something. I could tell Jimmy sensed my anger. He stepped back a little.

"Tony told me." Jimmy confessed. "He needed somebody to talk to. He…" Jimmy fumbled. "…he, you weren't here. Dr. Mallard was dealing with his mother. Abby, was…she was dealing with missing you so much. I don't think she could see what Tony was going through. She forgot. They…we all forgot…Tony was missing you, too." Jimmy paused again. "I was the only one he felt he could confide in. I was grateful he trusted me enough with what was going on with him to help him."

I nodded. "I thank you too, Jimmy. Thank you for helping Tony and thank you for telling me what was going on."

"I was glad I was able to help." Jimmy replied.

TBC


	8. MeanwhilePart 4

The picture was becoming clearer and I was NOT liking what I was seeing. I was having a really, really hard time controlling my anger.

My next stop was the lab.

"My Silver-Haired Fox." My Goth girl stated throwing her arms around me for the millionth time since I had been back. "My babies have not had time to do their jobs."

I nodded. "That's not why I'm here."

"Okay." Abby said warily.

"I'm glad you took my pictures down." I started.

"You're back." Abby said, as she hugged me again.

"How was...Did Tony…?" I started, not sure how to ask the question, or, even, which one to ask.

"He was awful." Abby exclaimed. "Walking around here drinking coffee, slapping heads. He was trying to be you and it wasn't appreciated."

I shook my head.

"What?" Abby asked, confused.

"He was trying to make you not miss me so much. He was trying to make the transition easier." I explained. The explanation seeming to come out of nowhere, but, at least, I was finally understanding things, myself, a little better." I paused. "It's amazing…you…you, of all people." I said, shaking my head again. I could see the realization dawn on her.

"I…I didn't meant to hurt him, Gibbs. I swear I didn't." Abby confessed, with tears in her eyes.

"You kept my picture up for 4 months, Abby." I stated. "What was he supposed to think when you kept telling him he wasn't good enough?"

Abby shook her head. She was crying more. "I didn't mean that. I missed you. I missed you so much. But…but Tony, he didn't seem to, Gibbs, and it made me mad. He didn't come and talk to me. We always talked. He never came to me."

I put my hands on Abby's shoulders. "He didn't have time, Abby. He had a team to run. He had to jump in with both feet and do my job. He had to deal with you, everybody's emotions and reactions. How…when was he supposed to deal with what he was going through?"

Abby shook her head and hugged me again, this time crying harder. "I didn't mean to hurt, Gibbs. I swear, I didn't mean to hurt him." After a moment or two, Abby stepped back and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Abby. I…I didn't mean to…to say all those things. I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

Abby shook her head. "No, I hurt Tony." Abby admitted. "I didn't realize it, but I did. And…I…We'll work it out." Abby wiped her eyes again. "I'll talk to him."

I nodded and left.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

The rationalizations and the revelations came to me a too little fast while I was talking with Abby. I had some things, so guilt to work through on my part. Several of the things Abby was guilty of, I was guilty of, also.

That damned 'You'll do' kept coming to mind. I couldn't prepare him. I was in no shape to do that. I felt… I felt everything I had worked for, everything I had believed in had blown up with that ship that I seen on the screen in MTAC. I…I was lost. Lost people can't show other people the way. I needed time. I wanted space, not from the team. They were not my problem. And at the time, in my mind, the job had undergone a metamorphosis. It was a big, horrible creature that wanted to eat me alive.

I was expected to lead my team in a fight against bad guys who didn't play fair. Who didn't go by or even understand 'the rules.' And worse yet, when we got rid of one, there were 10 more waiting, eager to take his place in line. And I was supposed to lead my team into that? A conflict I was no longer sure I could, or even wanted to win. I couldn't, in good conscience, bring them into a fight, with me, that I was no longer prepared or equipped for.

Mexico was the answer, it became my oasis. I was lying in the sun, drinking beer and working on Mike's house. Not that he had wanted me too, or had even asked me. But it kept my mind and my hands busy. I also figured it would be a way to pay Franks back for letting me stay at his place. But what I thought was going to be a lifestyle change was started to turn into one hell of a boring vacation. I was drinking too much and getting too lazy. I got tired of visiting the cantinas and the senioritas were getting annoyed at me for messing up their language. I was getting tired of messing up the language. It…I was starting to miss home. I hadn't even told Franks that, and when Ziva called and asked me for help, I almost got down on my knees and thanked God for his 'divine intervention.'

I…my attitude back in D.C. on that trip, however, had not been good. I was horrible to DiNozzo. I made cutting, snide, intentionally hurtful remarks about him not even knowing what was going on on his own team. In a small way, I felt justified. I KNEW if Ziva had been in trouble when I was Team Leader, I would have known about it. I would have handled it as team leader. There would have been no need to ask for 'outside help,' which is what I considered myself at the time.

I also, though can see why Ziva sought outside help. That part took awhile. I had, I thought, taught DiNozzo how to be a good leader. Part of being a good leader is to instill the feeling of trust in your team, your followers. When I heard…when Ziva called me, I second guessed myself about Tony, I asked myself if I had, indeed, made a mistake. That, in and of itself, pissed me off greatly. I don't like making mistakes, and especially not ones that big that could have such tremendous consequences.

I finally realized Ziva simply had not wanted Tony to get into trouble. She knew Tony would help her, even to the detriment of himself and his job. She knew that, was keenly aware, and therefore called me instead.

I found myself unable to apologize to Tony, however, for my actions and my attitude. I…it was not that I wasn't sorry. I was painfully aware of my mistake. I knew I was 110% wrong. I knew I had to make it up to him. But I had no idea how. He didn't like it when I was nice to him. He could only take small doses of that. And at that rate, I would be long dead and buried before I could pay him back.

As much as I hated to do it, I would have to break my own rules and TELL him how I felt. TBC


	9. MeanwhilePart 5

**AN: I have posted this story to the end of Shafted mainly because I could not think of a name for it. I came up with one last night, "Mexico in the Rearview." I will be posting ****both under Shafted and the new story title, to prevent confusion. I really think they deserve to be separate stories because of the POVs. Thanks for all the comments and a special shout out to ****tansysam****, ****Alisa123****, and ****Meilea2010 ****for encouraging me to write Gibbs's POV. (I read back through the comments to find these folks. So if you suggested it also, and I missed your name, your input was greatly appreciated and I apologize for the oversight.)**

I stopped just outside the doors to the elevator. I recognized the voices.

"I am so glad Gibbs is back." Ziva said as she and Tim exited the elevator.

Tim looked around, I assumed to see if Tony or I was in attendance. I, meanwhile, moved to the opposite side of the stairs leading to the fourth floor and listened.

"Yeah, me too. I just…it was painful. I mean, Tony as Team Leader. I just don't get it. I understand Tony was a detective in Baltimore. But…I…I wonder how he got that job sometimes. Did they just get tired of him and promote him?" McGee dropped his things at his desk and came back over to Ziva's desk.

Ziva nodded. She took her seat.

I could feel my anger grow with each word. But I managed to keep myself hidden. I wanted them to bury themselves.

"And what was with those 'campfire' things?" Tim said using air quotes.

Ziva nodded. "That was a very strange name for a meeting. I still do not see what a fire had to do with anything." She paused. "And I too cannot see how DiNozzo became a detective. Was he not a goof off there?"

Tim shook his head. "Probably not. I can't see a police department putting up with that stuff."

"Why does Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

"Something about Tony's childhood." Tim's tone was dismissive and sarcastic. "Poor little rich kid. Probably didn't get a Porsche when he was 16 and is still pissed about it. Poor Tony."

"It has to be more than that." Ziva stated.

"He didn't get along with his dad. Boo-hoo. Again, he was a rich kid. How bad could it have been?" Tim asked. "He has to work for a living, again boo-hoo. Most of us had to get by on scholarships and work part-time to get to college."

"Why did he not go into his father's business?"

I could not believe my ears. I…I had to look a couple of times to make sure it was my agents speaking.

"I'm not sure. I mean he could have been a CEO by now, making millions. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me." Tim replied.

"Commanders in Israel would not put up with such...silliness." Ziva conceded.

"Yeah." Tim said looking over to my desk. "I don't understand why he does, either."

Ziva nodded. "The glares and the head-slaps, the coffee drinking, it was a poor imitation."

"I guess he thought he could command the respect Gibbs gets by acting like him." Tim concluded.

"It did not work."

"It was embarrassing." Tim stated. "And we were supposed to respect someone who acted like that? Follow his orders? It was laughable."

"I agree."

I was pissed. No, I was beyond pissed. There are no words. I wanted to go out and choke the life out of both of them. I managed to keep myself hidden, but barely. I needed to calm myself down before I entered the bullpen.

I sat down at my desk several moments later, after I had calmed down sufficiently. I powered up my computer and checked my email, ignoring the inquisitive looks from both Tim and Ziva.

TBC


	10. MeanwhilePart 6

I was in my basement when the fringes of an idea began to take shape. I had managed to keep my composure and get through the workday, but just barely. My poor boat, though, was now taking the brunt of my anger.

I threw down my sandpaper and picked up my phone answering it on the second ring. "Gibbs."

My thoughts for retribution would have to be put on hold. There was a dead Marine to take care of. I called the team and we converged on Shenandoah National Park at 11 p.m.

Night time evidence gathering was usually discouraged. But, the area could not really be secured. It was a public area, too public. Also, the body was found in water. Any evidence along the shore or downstream could be washed away by the current. So, we worked.

I took the opportunity to watch my agents in action.

My observations surprised me a little. I had not realized the seriousness of the 'lack of respect' issue. Tony had given Tim an order. I couldn't hear what Tony had said. I didn't need to, to see the look that passed over Tim's face after Tony's back was turned. Tim caught Ziva's eye and she returned the look. It was irritation, mixed with annoyance and a touch of arrogance.

Neither of them would have reacted to MY orders that way.

I knew of Tim's feelings of superiority. He had always bragged about his M.I.T. and Johns Hopkins education. I understood he was proud and, at first, I had no problem with it. But, I guess it was right after Tony told Tim he had his degree in physical education, I noticed a change. Tim seemed to be less, in awe, for lack of a better word. He seemed, almost, look down at Tony. I, however, didn't see it that way at first. I just took it as Tim gaining confidence and wanting to prove to DiNozzo and to me that he could be a good agent.

I watched carefully. I could see the slights, now, for what they were, disrespect of authority, DiNozzo's authority. It disturbed and hurt me greatly to see it happen. I had taught Tony well. I knew he knew how to instill respect into his followers, his team. I also knew, however, that Tim felt Tony was beneath him, in a way. Tony didn't have his level of education.

Ziva, I feel, has similar problems with Tony. She asked me, point blank, why I put up with someone like Tony. I didn't answer her, not because I didn't have an answer. I was told, a long ago, when you become a leader, they take the bone out of your head that makes you explain your actions. I just gave her my patented glare.

She was an investigator. Why couldn't she figure it out? Why was I the only one who could see behind the mask? Was I the only one who cared to look?

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

I followed Tony down to the lab when we got back with the evidence. It had been a few days since I had talked to Abby about Tony. I could tell she had not talked to him yet, and I was beginning to wonder if it was going to happen. I watched him sit the box of evidence down on Abby's lab table. He turned and was about to walk back out the door when Abby grabbed his arm.

"Tony, wait." Abby still had a grip on his arm.

Tony just turned and looked at her, not speaking.

Abby drew Tony into one of his monster hugs. "I'm sorry, Tony. I am so sorry. I..I didn't realize that Gibbs's picture…."

"Abby…." Tony pleaded.

I knew from experience Tony would not want talk about this. It would be easier, in his mind, just to deal with it on his own. But he, and I, needed Abby to make up. To use an old cliché, I had bigger fish to fry. This needed to happen first, so I could concentrate on that.

"I wasn't trying to say you couldn't do the job. I didn't want you to be Gibbs. I didn't need you to be Gibbs. He left, he was gone. You were here. I needed you to be you." Abby paused. "When I told you you weren't Gibbs I meant you need to take the job and make it yours. Gibbs has his way, and it works for him." Abby looked up at Tony. "But that's the point, Tony. It works for him. You're you. I…We didn't need, didn't want a Gibbs2." Abby paused, again and looked at him.

Tony nodded at her. "I get it, Abby, I really do."

Abby looked at him and smiled. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Tony. That was the last thing in the world I wanted to do." Abby hugged him again. "I would have taken the pictures down if you had asked."

"How could I do that?" Tony asked. "You were miserable, missing Gibbs so much." Tony paused. "I…I didn't feel I had the right to ask. It was your way of getting through it. We all had our ways…."

Abby shook her head. "Not true, Tony. Nobody…nobody helped you. Who did you talk to, Tony? Who…You were closer to him than any of the rest of us. It…it must have been like…like losing a parent all over again." She again laid her head on his chest. This time there were tears in her eyes.

Abby looked at him again, and I could tell from the look on his face that she had not been wrong. That realization, along with the others, tore at my heart. I added it to the list of my other, long list, of offenses and continued to listen. I had really never considered what it would be like for any of them, especially Tony. I have been too self-absorbed, too involved in my own hurt, bewilderment, and disillusionment to deal with anyone else's problems.

"Abby?" Tony said, pleading.

Abby raised her head and looked at him. "It's not Okay!" Abby said forcefully. "It's not Okay and don't you dare say it is!"

Tony said nothing. He just hugged her tightly as she rested her head on his chest again.

"You are my friend. I love you, so much, and I hurt you." Abby stated, looking up at him again. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "And I am truly sorry."

"Can I say it's Okay now, or will you kill me and destroy all the evidence?" Tony asked innocently.

"Just this time, don't let it happen again." Abby smiled back, studying him for a moment. She rested her heads on his chest. "You can talk to me about anything. And I mean anything. I know this doesn't fix things. I don't expect it to. But I will do my best to make it up to you." Abby reassured him.

I could see Tony smiling now. There were tears in his eyes. I, surprisingly, was tearing up myself. I knew, now, that they would be OK.

Tony returned her hug and kissed her on the cheek. He then turned and exited through the lab doors.

I stood back in the shadows as Tony left the lab. He passed me, and I assumed, headed to the bullpen. Now I just had to find a way to get him to the morgue, to talk to Ducky.

TBC


	11. MeanwhilePart7

"Hey, Boss." Tony said as he sat down, no, collapsed into my basement stairs.

"Rough week?" I asked, knowing that it had not been. But I wanted to give him the chance to open up.

"Rough few months." Tony replied.

"My Sabbatical…." I started.

Tony looked up at me. "Yeah, sabbatical, vacation, whatever the hell you want to call it…."

"I needed it, Tony." I stated. "As inopportune, as impulsive as it was on my part, I needed it."

"You're telling me you screwed up?" Tony asked.

"Yes and No." I stated.

"Wasn't a multiple choice question there, Boss." Tony stated.

I smiled at him. He wasn't expecting it and it disarmed him for just a second. "I should have said more than 'You'll do.' I know that. I realize that. I…It was meant to mean, to say so much and it fell short. I…I am not a man of many words, as you know. But you need to hear this and I need to say it." I paused. I put my sandpaper down and sat down beside him on the stairs. "I am sorry."

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't let him. I did want to lose my momentum.

"You…when we first met in Baltimore, I thought you were just a smart-ass cop." I paused again. "Some things don't change. But I got to see how good you are at your job. And I am not saying this, Tony, to make you feel good. I am not saying this to make up for what I've done. I'm saying it, because it's true. I believe in you, in your abilities." I looked him in the eye. "All those other people saw what you put out there. They saw the you, you wanted them to. I saw the real you, the flawed, human, insecure guy."

Tony looked at me, shocked.

"My insecurity comes out as 'bastard.'" I explained.

Tony continued to stare.

"I've been married 4 times, there's something going on there." I sighed. "My point is, we all have 'things,' 'issues.' And one of mine is my lack of communication, and I will work on that. I will try my damnedest to work on that. And along those lines…" I paused again. "…I should have let you know I was coming back. I saw the look of hurt in your eyes. It was only a second, but I saw it. I misinterpreted it and I got angry. I thought it meant you didn't want me back. I got a little possessive in my mind thinking, it's my team, of course I want it back."

I put my hand to the back of Tony's head and he flinched, expecting a head slap. I rested my hand at the nape of his neck.

"I wasn't disregarding what you did while I was gone. You kept things together for me. That means more than you know." I flashed back on the scene in the bullpen, between Tim and Ziva, from the day before and the anger returned for just a second. I explained. "I know what I did put everybody in a tailspin. I know that. I regret just up and leaving like it did, but I don't think I could have left any other way. My world, my sense of right and wrong, my understanding of good guys and bad guys got blown all to hell when we watched that ship blow up in MTAC. I had tried my damnedest. I had done everything I was supposed to do to prevent it, and it happened anyway. I…I was lost. I couldn't take you down that road. I didn't even know where I was going, how could I take anyone with me?"

"I would have gone." Tony said simply.

"I know you would have, Tony. That was the problem. You trust me, and that is great for a Leader. But you are more than just my underling. You are more than just my friend, we're family. Those additional risks, with family, are not acceptable."

Tony didn't look at me. He just studied his hands.

"Remember I told you 'yes and no' earlier?" I asked.

Tony nodded.

"This is the 'no' part. I didn't make a mistake leaving you in charge. I don't regret it. I made mistakes in how I handled certain parts of it, and I admit that. But the decision to leave you in charge was never an issue or a question for me."

Tony shook his head.

"Though I am glad you aren't going to Rota." I added.

Tony was stunned. He was truly, utterly speechless.

"I have my ways, DiNozzo." I said, in offer of explanation.

"Do they know?" Tony said, finally getting over his shock.

I shook my head.

"Probably would have bought me a one-way ticket." Tony mumbled out, but I caught every word.

I nodded. "We'll get back to them." I said so he would know I knew who and what he was talking about. "Did you speak with Ducky?"

Tony nodded. "He…I knew he didn't do or say anything intentionally."

I nodded. "He still felt he wronged you."

"He apologized." Tony stated. "I accepted."

I nodded. "Good."

I laid my plan out to Tony. I had already cleared it Director Shepard. She had no been surprised by McGee and David's behavior. She had praised Tony's work and had offered him a promotion. She knew their behavior had nothing to do with Tony's leadership abilities. He had been a good leader, put in charge of difficult people. She also, I knew, has a very low tolerance of disrespect to superiors.

TBC


	12. MeanwhilePart 8

Chapter 8

**AN: Finally, the long-awaited chapter. I will continue after this. I will have Gibbs overhearing a conversation among Tony, Tim and Ziva. Tony has a few surprises for the both of them.**

I had called Tim and Ziva into one of the conference rooms on the third floor of NCIS. It was an unusual place for me to have a conference, the elevator being my room of choice. But this was an unusual situation. I had invited Tony, Ducky, Jimmy, Abby and Director Shepard to join us, partly because it affected them all, but also because I wanted, in a sadistic way, for the humiliation to be witnessed.

Ziva and Tim entered the room at the same time, surprised to see that I was not the only one in attendance.

I 'may' have given them the impression that the meeting would be private. My mind, truly, is not what it used to be since the explosion. But, there was no time to dwell on such things now. I had a lot to say and Tim and Ziva need to hear it all.

"I left Tony in charge during my absence because I believed in him." I started. "I understand he may have taken some wrong turns in the beginning." I looked Tony's way and gave him a barely perceptible nod so he would know I was not going to condemn him for his actions. "But he was learning the position." I explained as I began to walk around the room. "He needed time to find his way."

I stopped pacing on the other side of the table facing Tim. I addressed him. "I have to ask Tim, your first day here, we threw you in the deep end and let you sink or swim, right? You processed a crime scene and were proficient with your firearm." I stated.

Tim shook his head and started to speak. I silence him with the wave of my hand and then turned to Ziva.

"And Ziva, you knew how to process a crime scene, Mossad taught you that, right?" I asked.

Before either could answer I answer both questions. "No, you didn't, neither of you. Tony taught you both what you needed to know. He…He was patient with you. He didn't belittle you for what you didn't know. He didn't make cruel, hurtful, vicious, and unfounded remarks about you behind your back." I paused briefly as I saw a look of insecurity cross Tim's and Ziva's faces. "He didn't say the things you did. Your method of learning the things he had taught you was…silly, laughable." I saw the realization dawn on their faces when I used those words. I smiled to myself and continued. I could see the reactions of Ducky, Abby and Jimmy in my peripheral vision. I could tell they had no clue things had been so bad for Tony. Plus they had not heard the conversation, just days before, that I had been privileged to.

"…Oh, and embarrassing, I forgot embarrassing." I then went in for the kill. I addressed my next statement to Tony. "And they didn't like your campfires, Tony." I knew, then, they KNEW, without a doubt, that I had overheard the conversation.

I had not told Tony much of that conversation. I knew, from what he had told me, he had imagined the worst. I did make him admit to me what Jimmy had said about the paperwork was true. But only after I told him that Jimmy was the one who let the cat out of that particular bag. And, much as I didn't want him to be hurt, a part of me was glad he was here. He needed this. He needed the chance, the opportunity to confront them, if this was, indeed, what he wanted to do.

"Disrespect and insubordination are both serious offenses. I have seen insubordination reports filed against the both of you. I was disappointed and angry, especially when I found out more could have and should have been filed against you. When I found out that Tony took it easy on you, wanting, caring enough to make sure you still two had a job. I just wish you had shown him the same consideration. What if…Director Shepard had heard your conversation herself? What is it had been SecNav? Somebody else who didn't know Tony? Somebody who actually believed the venom you were spewing?" I paused, not really expecting an answer.

"This level of disrespect is unconscionable. I can't…I respected Tony enough, believed in his abilities enough to make him leader. Not because he's been here longer than the two of you, but because he has earned it. He earned his position as Detective. He and his partner had a 95% solve rate of cases in Baltimore."

I felt the anger flare up again. I had managed to control it to this point, pretty well. I leaned across the table in front of Tim. "The only way some people can feel important is to have a degree from M.I.T. shoved up their ass."

I saw a flash of anger on Tim's face and, I have to admit, I was pleased.

I straightened back up just as Tim opened his mouth to speak. "You REALLY, REALLY don't want to say anything to me right now." I warned him.

Ziva too, felt the need to open her mouth. I beat her to the punch. "Do you have something you need to say, Officer David?" I growled.

Ziva immediately closed her mouth and shook her head.

"Good, very good." I resumed my pacing. "This is how it is going to be. You are now, and until a time I decide, under Tony's sole direction. He is your Team Leader."

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

"Agent McGee," I said, glaring at him. "…this is not a debate. You DO NOT get a period for rebuttal." I continued. "Since you two don't seem to know or understand the meaning of respect, I will make sure you learn it."

I leaned on the table again. "Since you two seem to think you can do Tony's job..." I again glared at McGee, in particular. "…I want to make sure you understand the work involved."

Tim spoke up. "I did paperwork…."

I corrected him. "You did a small percentage. I explained. Then I continued. "Plus you will be doing all of the team's paperwork. The two of you will process ALL evidence. You will wash the evidence van. You will assist Ducky, Abby and even Palmer, in any way they need or ask you to. You will not ask why and you will not complain. This is in addition to whatever tasks Tony asks you to complete. Any question of any kind will be directed to me and only me." I paused. The question thing was just as much as punishment for me as it was for them. I knew they HATED to ask me questions, when they had to choose between asking me and asking Tony, they would ask Tony every time. But, I thought, at least, I could give Tony a little pleasure, entertainment, watching it all unfold. "This…arrangement will last 8 months. This only seems fair. Since you tortured Tony for 4 months, your punishment should be twice as long. After this time has passed, I will decide if this…experiment worked, or if it needs to continue. Is that clear?"

"Eight months!" Tim countered angrily. "I'll quit."

I nodded. "I'll expect your resignation on my desk within the hour."

McGee backed down, immediately, at my counter.

I got in his face again. "The next time you threaten me with that will be the last time!" I breathed.

"You cannot do that." Ziva stated. She turned to Jenny.

"Director Shepard is in total agreement with me." I stated. "She will be monitoring your progress also."

I stepped back and Jenny took the floor.

"I am aware of the total lack of respect you two have shown Agent DiNozzo. The director stated. "I asked…I told Tony to fill complaints, for all the violations. But he refused. He was thinking of the two of you. He didn't want to be responsible for you losing your jobs. He knew if he didn't file, I couldn't do anything. There would be no proof." The director looked at Tony, then back to Ziva and Tim. "You two should be thanking him; grateful to him you have jobs."

"And just so you know," She added. "…I offered Tony his own team, a position in Rota, Spain. He turned it down. He knew Gibbs was not 100% yet. He was, and is good enough, Agent McGee, Officer David, to be Team Leader. It is too bad the two of you could not or would not see that." Jenny turned and looked at me. "I back your decisions 100%, Agent Gibbs."

I nodded. "Thank you, Director."

TBC


	13. MeanwhilePart 9

I looked at the rest of Team Gibbs and nodded. They all nodded back and left the room. Ziva and Tim stood up to leave, the surprise of Jenny's announcement still evident on their faces.

"I'm not done with the two of you." I stated.

Ziva and Tim returned to their seats.

"Tony's childhood is not a subject for you two to throw around! It is not a subject the two of you are to EVER bring up again! Do I make myself clear?" I said, my anger flaring.

Tim managed to get out 'Poor Tony'….before I silenced him with a glare.

"You're pushing it, McGee." I hissed. "Get the hell out of here, both of you!"

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony and I did not trade desks, though I was, officially now HIS Senior Field Agent. It was, as it turned out, a nice change of pace. I was going to get to see Tony at work. I returned to the bullpen, eager to start my new job.

Tony, Ziva, and Tim were all at their desks when I arrived back in the bullpen. I took my seat and made a show of checking my email as I watched the interaction among my three agents. I smiled. This should be fun.

The first week went pretty much as I thought it would. A lot of grumbling behind Tony's back, and mine. I made sure Abby and Ducky utilized Tim and Ziva whenever they needed or wanted to. At first it was awkward for the both of them, and especially for Jimmy. But I told them that I meant what I had said in the meeting, and it was not long before Tim and Ziva were running all over the building doing errands.

I think the most impressive thing was, though, Tony's leadership. I knew he could and would be a good leader. But I was still very impressed to...to see him in action. He...even though I know he could do the job. I had no idea he would excel in it the way he did. He…his way with witness and other agencies…I knew he had a way with pretty woman. But his charm and charisma had an amazing effect on those other people too. I, for once, was proud to, as they say, 'play second fiddle.'

I got a surprise of my own a week after our arrangement started. Tony had called Ziva and Tim in early and they were down in Autopsy. Tony knew Ducky and even Jimmy would not be in until 12 noon. I was a little mystified when I can in at 9 a.m. and the bullpen was empty. I hung my coat over the back of my chair, secured my gun, and set off in search of my missing team members.

I checked with Abby, thinking that maybe Tony had called her in early and that they were all down working on something for a case. But Abby's lab was dark and the doors were locked. I then moved on to Autopsy.

I stopped outside the doors when I heard Tony's voice. I saw that Tony, Ziva and Tim were seated around one of Ducky's autopsy tables and that there were several folders lying unopened. And there were papers scattered across the table's surface. I stepped back into the shadows and listened, knowing I was not meant to intend this particular meeting.

"Just so you know, Agent McGee, Officer David, Gibbs was not the only one eavesdropping on your conversation." Tony started. I recognized a thread of anger in his voice almost immediately. "I heard it all, every hateful, spiteful word." Tony paused. "I really, really had no idea you two had such a low opinion of me." Tony looked at them both, a mixture of hurt, disappointment and anger on his face.

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

Tony ignored him and patted the folders in front of him on the table. "I have some light reading for you." Tony took the top folder of the top of the stack and slid it toward them.

I could tell by his tone that the reading would be anything but light. I had known he was gathering documents. I knew he had talked to Jenny, but I wasn't sure what he had asked her for. I heard him call Baltimore and Peoria while we were in the bullpen and request things. I know too, he had talked to Ducky about copies of his medical records. He then allowed me to read the items he had gathered and asked me for my advice about what he was about to do.

Tim opened the folder and took out the first stack of papers. Ziva took the second. Tony had made two copies of everything in the folder so they each would have a copy.

Tim and Ziva finished the letters at about the same time. They both just looked at Tony.

"Do you still find my leadership skills laughable, Agent McGee? Do my campfires amuse you, Agent David?" Tony spoke again before either could answer. "Apparently there are people here who respect my abilities, who know what I'm capable of and who realize that the only reason I am SFA is NOT because I was hired before the two of you!"

The first item must have been Director Shepard's glowing, in depth, evaluation of Tony during his time as Team Leader. It included details as to why he deserved the promotion. He also had the letter the director had written to the director in Spain recommending Tony for the position.

Tony then opened another folder and slid to over two them. They again read the contents in silence.

"Those things, those police reports were standard."

Tony had showed me these reports, ones he had written during his time in Peoria and Baltimore. Tony's report said that a child, a newborn had been thrown into a dumpster behind the high school her mother went to. She was perfect, a healthy, beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed girl who died of hypothermia. Her mother had her in the bathroom at the school, wrapped her up, took her out back and disposed of her. She was not found until the next morning when the janitor went to dump something in and found the tiny bundle. He had gotten the task of climbing in the dumpster and retrieving her.

Another report stated a mother and daughter were walking down a street in Baltimore. A stranger came up to her and robbed and stabbed her, in front of her daughter. His take had only been $75. Tony and his partner were first on the scene. Tony tried to comfort the girl, aged 11. while his partner secured the scene.

The last one I had read was about a woman who drowned her two children, a boy, aged 2 and a girl, 5 months old. The reason? Her new boyfriend didn't want any children. They had ended up breaking up after 8 months. Two months after that she was charged with the double murder and sentenced to life in prison. Tony and his partner had been the first on the scene after the call came in about a car submerged in a Peoria lake. The woman had started the car down the hill with her children strapped into their car seats in the back seat.

"There are more, many more." Tony said. "But these were among the worst, the most senseless. These kept me up at night." Tony gathered the papers and put them back into the folders. "So, Agent McGee, do you need a trashcan? I can see you're about to lose your lunch." Tony leaned in closer. "You're getting sick reading them. Imagine writing them. Having to relive all that gory detail hours later, seeing the faces of those two poor, innocent children whose only mistake in life was being born to a selfish, heartless bitch of a mother. Oh, and the girl, the one who saw her mother killed… she's now in a mental institution. I have EARNED my position on this team, Agent McGee…" Ton paused, trying to control his anger. "For every body I got out of a dumpster, for every crime scene I had to visit, for every child I had to comfort. For all the screwed up, nasty, vicious, heinous act that one person can perform on another person, I. Have. EARNED my position."

Tony stared at Tim. "All you did was graduate, for college. But OH, it was not just any college…" Tony said sarcastically. "…it was from M.I.T….oh, and Johns Hopkins. Let's NOT forget Johns Hopkins."

Tim opened his mouth, but Tony glared back at him, daring him to speak.

Tony had two more folders in his stack. He gathered the last pages up and put them back in their folder, trying to give himself time to calm down before he continued. The second to the last folder, I figured was his accomplishment, commendations at Baltimore and Peoria, and the stack was high. It was full of high praise of Tony and his accomplishments, even before he made Detective. He allowed Ziva and Tim to read in silence a few moments.

"I became Detective in less than a year in Peoria." Tony said. "That is unheard of. A lot of the older guys had been there for…years…YEARS…and they hadn't been promoted to detective. It pissed a lot of them off. I did my job, and I was good at it." Tony paused. "Nothing's changed…nothing. I am still damn good at what I do. I deserved your respect because I was in the position. I had been given, entrusted with that responsibility." Tony paused. "Did I disrespect you, Agent McGee, at any time while I was team leader?" Tony asked Tim. "Did I call you Probie? Did I call you McWhatever? Did I! Tony demanded.

Tim seemed to think for just a moment. Then he shook his head.

Tony then turned to Ziva. "Officer David, we had a much more professional relationship while I was team leader." Tony stated. "How long had it been since I made any inappropriate comment to you about…anything?" Tony paused. "Since before Gibbs left, Officer David, that was when."

Tony gathered up those papers as he spoke. "So why is it, during the time I treat you the best, with the most respect; why is it that you treat me the worst?"

Tony paused, but not long enough for either of them to answer. "I didn't deserve what you said about me. I didn't deserve any of it. I expect, deserve, better from people who are supposed to by my friends."

Tony opened the last folder and handed out its contents. "This is especially for you,

Agent McGee, since you are so very interested in my childhood." He shoved the papers towards them and they began to read. This folder was full of medical reports form ER visits chronicling Tony's many visits for bruises and broken bones."

"Does it sound like to you I would have been particularly pissed about NOT getting a Porsche at the age of 16, Agent McGee?" Tony asked. "Does it sound bad, Agent McGee? I was a rich kid, how bad could it have been?" Tony said, using the same words McGee had. "I will tell you what my RICH father spent his money on, Agent McGee. He spent it on paying off house staff and doctors to keep their mouths shut about how he treated, mistreated, his son. That is what being rich, got for me, Agent McGee, a rich, drunk father on a power trip. A man who knew he could get away with ANYTHING as long as he paid the price. As long as the money flowed he could do anything he wanted." Tony explained. "I would have traded every last damn dollar of it for a parent who gave a damn, Agent McGee.

"That having been said, Agent McGee…" Tony paused. I could see his anger flaring. "…if you EVER talk about my childhood, my personnel business, in a public forum, like you did in the bullpen. If you talk about me like that ANYWHERE, ever again…" Tony paused and leaned across the table for emphasis. "…I will make you regret EVERY single word you utter. That's a promise." His voice was low and menacing.

Tony gathered the papers back up and returned them to their folder. He didn't speak for a moment, seeming to be taking the time to calm down. . "I think I have addressed all of the issues, you brought up in your conversation with Officer David, Agent McGee." Tony said, sarcastically. "No! Wait Mr. M.I.T. Smarter than thou! There is one more thing I need to ask. Would you have acted that way if you knew I had graduated from Harvard?"

Tim just stared.

"That's right, Harvard!" Go to the alumni page and look me up, you smart-ass, smug, bastard!" I could see the anger radiating off Tony, like heat.

Tim opened his mouth to speak.

"Shut the hell up! You, both of you, are damn lucky you're still employed!" Tony paused, trying to calm himself. "Director Shepard would have fired you both in a heartbeat. But I didn't want to be, to feel, responsible for you losing your jobs. I won't be feeling that generous in the future. JUST so you know." Tony warned.

"I trusted you, both of you. You betrayed my trust. I thought we were friends." Tony said. I could see the pain in his eyes. "I guess…It's a good thing friendship is not required for this job. I…I have a professional obligation to you. You have a professional obligation to me. For these 8 months…that's all I expect from you. That's all you will get from me. I'll decide, after that is over, if I will really be able to trust either of you again." Tony paused again and gathered his folders. "That's all, Agent McGee, Officer David."

Both Ziva and Tim turned to Tony. Both opened their mouths to speak.

Tony shook his head. "I honestly, truly don't give a damn what you have to say. I've heard enough from both of you."

**End Notes: I know I wrote to several of you saying this would be the end. But I don't think I can end it like this, too much unresolved, too much emotion. So look forward to, at least one more chapter, maybe two.**

TBC

MEXICO IN THE REARVIEW

Page 7 of 7


	14. MeanwhilePart 10

Chapter 10

**AN: I concede, the 'document thing' in chapter 9 was a little OOC for Tony. My thinking on it was that if Ducky or Abby TOLD Tim or Ziva anything in support of Tony they would think that Ducky and Abby were just taking up for Tony because he's their friend. Not because they particularly believe in him as an agent, or respect his skills. The documents provide irrefutable proof. I had Tony present the documents, as opposed to anyone else, because he is truly the only one who can convey to them how he feels about what they had done to him. How much it hurt. And the damage done to the friendship. I hope that clears things up for those of you who didn't particularly care for how I handled that part.**

Tim and Ziva left Autopsy, the looks on their faces unreadable. I waited for them both to enter the elevator before I stepped out of my hiding place, then I entered Autopsy.

Tony didn't look up before he spoke. "McGee…. David…."

"Tony." I said, quietly.

His shoulders instantly slumped as if he was exhausted. He hung his head, but still didn't look at me. "You heard?" Tony asked, knowing the answer to the question.

I walked up beside him and touched his shoulder instead of speaking. I had no clue what to say, or if anything needed to be said.

"Why? Just…why?" Tony asked, exasperated.

I shook my head. "We both know Tim has always had a chip on his shoulder. And Ziva, well...she has Eli David as a father. She has her own unique set of problems."

"So do I." Tony admitted.

"True." I stated. "But you have never, ever, ever tried to screw over your partners."

Tony shook his head. "I shouldn't have had to PROVE myself to people who should know better. Tony said sinking down on the chair he had pulled up to the table. "I'm tired, Boss. I'm just…tired."

I stared at him, not really understanding. Was he telling me he wanted to quit? I was not sure I wanted this job, I realized, if he was not here too.

Tony looked me in the eye. He must have recognized my confusion because he explained. "I fought with them for 4 months, Gibbs. Four LONG months, it was, well…in their eyes…everything I did was wrong. I started off acting like you, when that didn't work I started trying to do things my own way, they complained about that. I know it was an adjustment for them. But it was an adjustment for me too. I…."

Tony paused, and I just looked at him waiting for him to continue.

"….I don't know if I'm willing to take that journey. I don't know if I want to go down that road again. The scenery, and the destination, kind of sucked the first time around." Tony explained.

I pulled the stool Tim had been sitting on from around the other side of the table and sat down. "You went down that road alone." I shook my head. "I know Abby and Ducky were here. But from the investigator standpoint, our job, you were alone." I said, putting my arm around his shoulders. "I'm here, I'm…."

"You left before."

"Not again." I promised.

"Yeah," Tony said standing up suddenly and shaking off my arm. "…until Director Shepard pisses you off or until…God knows what!" Tony's voice was beginning to shake. "Do you know what that did to me? Do you even care?"

"I won't leave." I promise. "And I do care."

"How! How do I know that!" Tony asked. "How do I know you won't go home today, after this, and decide senoritas on the beach sounds a hell of a lot better than terrorists on the streets? How do I know that?"

"You know me." I said simply.

"Correction, I DID know you. The guy who left for Mexico looked like you, returned looking like a scary beach bum in a Hawaiian shirt, and then left again. That time without even saying good bye." Tony replied. "So, as you can see, you left twice. Your track record, for lack of a better word, sucks."

I sighed. "I was lost. I told you that before. I...I lied to you Tony. I lied to everybody. I was a dad. I had a child. I…I didn't know how you, especially you, would take that." I explained. "You...you trusted me so completely. I felt like it was a huge betrayal. I'm not sorry it came out, now that it has. But, for the first time in years, Tony, YEARS I've had to deal with it all again. And it felt like it did when it first happened. All the…deception, on my part, and all the pain from losing my family, all the failed marriages, all…all of it, at once. Then there was you, your unwavering trust. I am not trying to lay all this at your feet. I'm not blaming it on you."

I paused and Tony just stared at me, arms crossed over his chest, waiting for me to continue.

"Tony, I…you are more to me than my partner, than a friend. You're my family, my gown, Italian son. I know how you felt when I left. I know exactly. I felt the same way when my family died and I wasn't there. I…everything I needed, I believed in, my support, my life was gone. I…my legs had been ripped right out from under me and I was just falling…falling with no clue if or where I would land."

Tony's expression seemed to soften, just a little.

"Life went on. I met Mike Franks. I had no clue what N-I-S was. I just knew I liked Franks. He recruited me, for lack of a better word. And then a few years later I met this Baltimore cop. I decided I liked him and then I recruited him. I have found, over the years though, that he is a little opinionated and loves to talk. But other than that, he's been a pretty good agent."

Tony smiled at me, full on this time.

I stood up and went over to him. I looked Tony in the eye. "I won't leave again because I know what I have here. I understand now what it all means, how much it means."

Tony surprised me when he hugged me back so quickly. I had expected him to stiffen up a little when I hugged him. We stood that way for just a moment before I gave him the obligatory head-slap. I think he would have been disappointed if I hadn't.

TBC


	15. MeanwhilePart 11

Chapter 11

**AN: I have included my take on Gibbs's whole 'apology' thing in this chapter. I hope you like it. Gibbs makes a M*A*S*H reference.**

**This is the last chapter. I hope I ended the story in a good way. **

**Thanks to all those of you who have supported this story. Thanks to those of you who asked for this story, Gibbs's POV, to be written. It has been an interesting ride.**

Tony stood up and followed me as I left Autopsy.

"So, what now?" Tony asked.

"You be the best damned Team Leader you can be, or I'll kick your ass." I replied, grinning.

Tony looked at me and laughed. "On it, Boss."

We walked in silence to the elevator.

"The head slaps…since I'm Team Leader?" Tony asked.

Tony exited the elevator and walked to the bullpen rubbing the back of his head in answer to his question.

Tim and Ziva were seated. They made a point of ignoring him as he walked in and Tony waited for me to go to my desk and sit down before he began speaking.

"What happened downstairs should NEVER have had to happen. I shouldn't have to prove myself to people who should know better." Tony said. "And just so you know, I will make good on my threat. There are PLENTY of computer geeks at M.I.T. and I am sure Eli David can spare another Mossad officer. The kind of insubordination I experienced at your hands will not happen again. I have the power and authority, as Team Leader, to reprimand you, and to fire you…at my discretion."

"You're not…." Tim began.

"He is Team Leader." I interjected. "And he has the full powers of Team Leader." I added, just so there would be no more argument.

Tim opened his mouth, again, to speak.

Tony went over to Tim's desk and bent down so that he was right in Tim's face. "So, this is how you want to play this, do you Timmy? Well, fine. But every mark you have against you looks bad on your bid for the directorship." Tony paused. "Vance could pass you over for someone who is not so…obstinate… pertinacious." He paused again. "Some Harvard words for you, look 'em up!"

Tony waited for Tim to speak, when he didn't, Tony straightened up again. "This time around you are going to do it right. This is a do-over, as they say." Tony walked around the bullpen. "Do it right, you get to keep your job…."

"Gibbs…" Ziva turned and looked at me. "…he can't threaten…."

"Didn't sound like a threat to me. It sounded like a promise." I stated. "And I back him on this. If you had done this to me, you would be fired. You BOTH know that. You've seen the goofball side of Tony. And he is a joker, he likes to clown around a lot. But he has never let either one of you down. He has always had your sixes. He will always have your sixes. He is deadly serious at his job and he deserves to be respected for the skill, expertise and experience he brings to it. He deserves to be respected because he taught both of you, especially you, Tim, how to be agents. You owe that to him. You didn't learn any of that from me. I don't have the patience or the time to both run the team and to teach you those things. That is why team leaders have senior field agents, to shoulder some of that responsibility." I paused. "I heard what happened down in Autopsy. I know the things Tony presented to you. I've seen them. I read them. It is a sad commentary he had to produce documentation to prove himself to you. It bothers me that he had to do it, and that you two are STILL acting the way you are."

I turned and looked at Tony. "I…I feel partially responsible, Tony. I, myself, have not treated you in the most professional manner and I am truly sorry for that. I had no idea they would take my lead. You deserved more respect from your leader." I paused. "I know, more than anybody, what you are capable of…."

There were three people, six eyeballs, just staring at me in disbelief. It made me a little uncomfortable. But, I couldn't let this go by and NOT be said. Tony deserved better from his team.

"I don't know what else to say, or if there is anything else I can say. But I am truly sorry." I said to Tony.

And for the record, just so you know, the apology thing is not to ever say you're sorry. It is never say you're sorry to strangers. They are not likely to believe you anyway. Never say you're sorry when you don't mean it. People know when you're insincere. They may never say so, but they know. Sorry's are meant for people who matter and for the times that are important. Tony means a hell of a lot to me and the timing, right now, is critical.

Tony looked at me and nodded in appreciation. He then turned his attention to Tim and Ziva. "It's really simple. You have two options. You can get with the program. Or, you can get out." Tony said. "And at this point, I don't really give a damn what you do!" Tony said before leaving the bullpen.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Both Tim and Ziva looked at me. I just stared at my computer screen as I opened my email and started to read.

They were still staring when I looked up seconds later. "Look, he IS in charge. We have not treated him right. He deserve better from all of us. I'm going to do my part. I'm going to be his senior field agent. I am going to do his job, hopefully as well as he does it. And if you stay…."

"If…!" Tim and Ziva said in unison. I think still a little surprised I had not told Tony he was out of line. Especially with the last thing he said.

I nodded. "IF you decide to stay, we…he will be your boss for these 8 months. I…" I looked at their expressions and I was suddenly angry. They still didn't seem to get it. "…look I don't expect you to like it. I don't care if you like it. But, that's how it is."

The mood had changed when Tony returned. I guess Tim and Ziva did really want to keep their jobs after all because things seemed to get better after that talk. Tony seemed to notice. He sat down at his desk and opened a folder. He did his part of the paperwork. What couldn't be completed by his team and then he passed the folders on to me. Soon I was knee deep in work, even with passing my, the SFA work, onto Tim and Ziva.

I didn't remember the SFA paperwork being so monotonous and mind-numbingly boring. I didn't realize I have forgotten so much of that stuff. It had not been that long since I filled it out on a regular basis…had it? I tried to think back. But I couldn't remember how long it had been. But what I did remember was Mike Franks being little or no help on it. I remember the papers being sent back to me full of comments and red marks. I never even so that much red on papers I had made F's on in school. I was astounded. And I was even more astounded by the sheer number of questions Tim and Ziva asked. I was not sure I was going to make it through those 8 months. Those two seemed to ask the same questions over and over again. Once, twice, three times, maybe, are understandable. But when it gets to 10, on forms they filled out Every Single Day! I was almost at my breaking point.

My only consolation and it was not really a consolation, was that Tony was absolutely, thoroughly, and unashamedly enjoying my misery. I knew by the looks he would throw me every once and a while. I knew when he leaned WAY back in his chair and put his hands behind his head and watched me, watched me work. And he had absolutely nothing to do. His desk was clean. The smile he had on his face just about killed me.

The team leader me, would have walked over and head-slapped the look off his face. The SFA me, had to just sit there and glare back at him, it was not nearly as affective and one time he even laughed. That only made me mad, which he also took great joy in.

Utilizing Tim and Ziva as runners for Abby and Ducky had been great for them. They fell into it quickly and easily. It had freed them up to get more done. It had showed them how much time they spent doing things that, essentially, were not part of their main jobs. And both of them admitted to me, in confidence, that they would be sad to lose their help when the 8 months were up.

I, however, personally was ready to go back to things as normal after a month. I got tired of checking and rechecking evidence logs to make sure all evidence was present and accounted for. I got tired of checking behind Tim and Ziva to make sure forms were filled out and done correctly. I remembered a line from a TV show. I can't quote it correctly because I don't remember it exactly. But it was from M*A*S*H. Radar was talking to Colonel Blake. Radar was saying something about Blake signing the form to get the form to order more forms. And after all this, I had a new appreciation for what Tony did, besides his field work.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

Tony came down the stairs and sat down on his accustomed step. There was a look of pure amusement on his face.

"I had no idea what I was getting myself into." I admitted after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"There is a shit-load of paperwork with my job." Tony said.

"You aren't kidding."

"You should have let Tim do it all." I said. "That would have taught him. He wouldn't have had time to bitch and moan."

"I wouldn't have had time to be Team Leader." Tony countered. "I would have been teaching him how to do my job."

I nodded. "But it would have shut him up."

"We will be ok again, Gibbs. It's just…It's going to take some time."

I nodded. "I know."

Tony got up and started upstairs.

"Your toothbrush is where you left it." I said smiling at Tony's retreating back.

THE END

MEXICO IN THE REARVIEW

Page 6 of 6


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